


Dirty Work

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-09-03
Updated: 2002-09-03
Packaged: 2019-05-15 08:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of theWest Wing Fanfiction Central, a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in theannouncement post.





	Dirty Work

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Dirty Work**

**by:**   


**Category:** Drama  
**Written:** June 2002  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine- nope. I'm struggling to live with the disappointment...*sigh*. In the meantime, I'm sneaking the kids out to play. Shhh....don't tell.  
**Characters:** Donna, Josh  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Summary:** 5th in the Transition Series - It follows: 1) "Unspoken" 2) "A Brief Glimpse" 3) "Sanctuary" 4) "Contemplation"  
**Notes:** Huge and unending thanks to Shelley, for doing what she does, and doing it so well -and for the confidence she gives me to do what I do. YOU ROCK! For all my Fellow Amy Haters- this one's for you. Enjoy!  


* * *

Josh glanced at his watch as he began to climb the steps to Amy's front door. It was around midnight. Late but not too late, and he could see her lights on through the window and hear music playing. Josh stopped at the top of the stairs and listened for a moment, trying to figure out what she was listening to. No Van Morrison tonight. It sounded like this jazz/blues station she listened to sometimes. Taking a breath, he knocked on the door. He had a key in his pocket, but decided not to use it. ‘Might as well set the proper tone from the start', he thought. 

Amy appeared at the door shortly, and giving Josh a long, measuring look said, "Lose your key?" 

"No... I just...Can I come in?" 

She didn't reply right away, then finally, with a careless shrug she turned on her heel and said, "Sure. Why not?" 

With a weary sigh, Josh dropped his bag by the door and followed her into the living room. She took a seat behind her desk, one leg drawn up and her arms crossed in front of her. She had this look on her face- a look that Josh had come to recognize as her ‘battle face'. He knew she expected to get one of two things out of the coming conversation .Either she wanted him to admit that he was wrong in the way he resolved the situation over the welfare reform bill, or she was going to stand there and ignore every rational argument put forth explaining why he made the decision he did- all the while planning ways to punish him. Well, she was about to be disappointed - again. That's not the conversation they were going to have. 

"I hope you've worked out a good explanation for why you've been blowing me off all day," Amy said, a distinct edge to her voice. 

"I was busy," he replied, his tone matching hers. 

"You're always busy, J. That's never stopped you from returning my calls before." 

Josh could hear the mocking challenge in her voice. He knew she was waiting to see if he would step up and swing at the pitch or let it go by. Well, he was tired of letting them go by. 

"That's true. I wasn't busy so much as I didn't feel like talking to you." 

"Well, wasn't that adult of you? You couldn't have just said ‘Amy, I don't want to talk now. I'll call you later'? You had to hide from me like a little boy?" she said, her tone caustic. 

Josh took a breath and got ready to respond to the ‘little boy' jibe, but then thought better of it. It was exactly what she wanted him to do- go on the defensive. No, it wasn't going to be quite that easy. Not this time. When he replied, it was with deceptive calm. 

"You really think it would have ended there? Because in my experience, you don't like taking ‘no' for an answer, and listening has never been one of your strong suits," he observed with a little smirk. He knew she would notice and he knew it would piss her off, and he was right. She tried to hide it, but he could see the signs- the narrowing of her eyes, the subtle flexing of her jaw. She was also a little knocked off balance. She hadn't expected that from him- that much was clear. ‘Well, score one for the batter', he thought with a kind of grim humor. She rebounded though- but then, he knew she would. 

"Fine. If the prospect of talking to me is so distasteful, what are you doing here?" she bit out. 

"I'm ready to talk now," he said quietly, yet firmly. 

"Maybe now I don't feel like listening," she said tartly, but Josh saw a flicker of something- fear, doubt. He wasn't sure, but he knew that she realized he wasn't there to play the same tired old game. 

"Fine, I'm used to that, but I'm going to say what I came here to say, and you may not listen, but you'll damn well hear it." 

That time the flinch was a little more noticeable. Not letting sentiment or guilt or regret stand in his way, he continued. 

"Amy, it's time to face facts. Ever since this thing between us started, we've been doing nothing but going through the motions of having a relationship. We say and do the right things. We have the outward appearance of a couple involved in a serious relationship. But that's all it is - appearance. Nothing more." 

"That's bullshit, Josh. We're good together. We're building something. You're just scared, or pissed that I challenged you and the administration to a higher goal... This is nothing more than good old ‘hit and run Josh' making an appearance," Amy said, taking particular satisfaction in his expression when she made that last remark. She drew a little blood on that one, but not much she discovered as Josh shook his head with a sigh. 

"You know Amy, another time that may have worked- in fact it did. That's pretty much how we got here. You dared me to prove I wasn't something that you accused me of being. I gotta' say, I've taken some pretty stupid dares in my life, but that one beats them all." 

"So I was just some game to you? Is that what you're saying?" she said, her voice rising as she stood. Josh could barely believe how incredulous she was at his words. 

"No. As usual, you only heard what you wanted to hear. We were both playing a game. You picked it and we both played it. I just realized recently that we weren't playing by the same rules." 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" 

"It means that no matter how it started, I thought we'd eventually move past how we began and build a real relationship. Every time all the evidence seemed to point to that not happening, I ignored it. I thought, ‘we'll work it out'. That never seemed to happen." 

"And you're laying all this at my feet?!" she exclaimed. 

"No, but you own your share of it- just like I do," Josh replied, and although he didn't say it, he considered her share a bit bigger than his- but telling her that wouldn't do anything but prolong this. 

"So what's the bottom line here, Josh? What are you trying to say?" 

"The bottom line ... the bottom line is that you don't respect me, and I don't trust you. That's the bottom line." 

"Respect you? Respect you! Oh that's rich. That's really rich, J. Just because I don't kiss your ass and defer to your every wish, then I don't respect you, huh?" 

At that, Josh lost total control of his patience. 

"That's enough! In fact that's more than enough. You really don't know me at all, do you? If you did, you wouldn't make such an outrageously stupid comment. I've never expected you to kiss my ass or defer to me. I'm not some caveman. In fact, considering some of the stunts you've pulled, I think my restraint has been admirable!" He said the last part in a voice that fairly shook the windows. He closed his eyes and, raking his hands through his hair in frustration, he took a deep breath and continued in a somewhat calmer voice. 

"I've never wanted anything but a level playing field between us- an equal partnership. But you were never happy with that. You did everything in your power, at every possible turn, to tilt the balance in your favor. You took advantage of my position, and the proximity it afforded you to the White House, to pursue your own agenda. You did it regardless of the fact that it might cost me, or this administration. What's more, you did it without batting an eyelash or feeling a moments regret. If you respected me and what I was trying to do, or really cared about me at all, you never could have done that. Like I said- bottom line, I don't trust you." 

"So that's it? You're just going to quit- not even try. I've lost everything because of what you did, and now you're walking out. Don't even bother to stand there and tell me I was wrong about you. I wasn't." 

Josh stood there for a second, taking in everything she said, and finally a rueful smile turned the corners of his mouth. 

"You know, Leo says I have this overdeveloped sense of guilt, coupled with a compulsive desire to fix everything. I guess in a way he's right. I do think I can fix everything, and when I can't, I feel guilty. No matter if I had anything to do with the problem or not, I feel guilty if I can't fix it. As far as this...whatever this is we've been doing these past few months, I've done everything I can, but it's not fixable. I'm not feeling guilty this time -just sorry we had to slice each other up and roll in the mud one last time. It is the last time though, Amy. We're done. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is." 

With that, Josh turned away, and walked to the door, pausing only to retrieve his backpack before walking out . 

He was about halfway up the block, getting ready to get in his car, when he heard the odd chirp of his cell phone. He smiled a little when he heard it, because when Donna had reprogrammed his speed-dial, she had also picked the weirdest ring she could find as her little joke. He fished it out of his pocket and, looking at the display, he chuckled to himself. Speak of the devil... 

"Hello, Donna. Why aren't you asleep?" 

"Hello to you too, Mr. Liar." 

"Mr. Liar? What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You said you were going home hours ago, but I called and.... Oh wait...you were at Amy's. I'm sorry if I interrupted-" 

"Donna, you didn't interrupt anything. I was at Amy's for a little bit, I just left." 

"Oh... got tired of dodging her, huh?" 

"How did you know I was doing that?" 

"Who answers your phone, Josh?" 

"Oh yeah, right. Dumb question, huh?" 

"Kind of...So did you get everything straightened out?" 

"You could say that," he replied with a grin, then asked "Why were you trying to track me down, anyway?" 

"Oh- Leo wanted me to let you know that he switched senior staff from 8:30 to 7:30, and not to be late." 

"Okay. Sounds like tomorrow is going to be another one of those days." 

"Yep, it's looking that way" Donna said with a heavy sigh. Just then, Josh got an idea. 

"Hey, you want to grab some lunch together tomorrow? I'll treat." 

"You'll treat? Well, I'm not about to turn that down," she said, and Josh could hear the laughter in her voice. He smiled at the sound, thinking it was a definite improvement over that heavy sigh he heard a moment ago. 

"Are you sure?" she added, "I thought you and Amy-" 

"No.... I'm all yours," he said, quickly cutting her off. He didn't want to go into the whole Amy thing with her over the phone, but he didn't want her laboring under any false assumptions either. 

"Okay. You want me to call you in the morning?" she asked. 

"I live for it," he said, and she could just see that teasing smile of his. 

"You live *by* it," she quipped in return. 

"That too. Goodnight, Donna." 

"Goodnight Josh." 


End file.
